Coping Like A Boss

It appears that basic human decency is tougher for some these days. In other cases people are simply comfortable being whack. Some people are so comfortable in their whackness that they bring attention to it.

 If you’re of a certain age, then you know that you can observe whackness, you can hear whackity whack-ish,  but you can’t always comment on whack-ish.

Sometimes we have to be adults.  In my experience this requires practice.  I employ two coping mechanisms when breathing fails or when it would be frowned upon to pour a glass of vino.  I used to smile but this came with unfortunate side effects.  A while back a very good friend witnessed an epic throwdown to which I was on the receiving end.  Surprisingly what she heard wasn’t the only thing that bothered her. After the scuttlebutt ended she told me that I looked like a person that had recently been freed from an insane asylum.  Even after I espoused the benefits of smiling to defuse such situations she suggested finding a less frightening approach.

pearls

Silver lining though, friends don’t let friends, unintentionally look crazy.

I heard about a trend as I considered alternative ways to deal. Apparently a company was raking in the dough by snail mailing confetti bombs. Who knew one could make money by pranking people. Anyways, this got me thinking about how to deal with difficult people. While l didn’t have the resources to physically confetti bomb every petty person I encounter, I could leverage confetti.  Here’s how it works, when I encounter unkind and downright ignorant people before it goes too far I conjure up a talking head followed by a massive confetti explosion. It’s funny (to me) and I get so distracted that I can’t get really go there.

rude

Now sometimes this isn’t sufficient and in absolute new world order emergencies, I bring the thunder. And by thunder,  I  mean I take a step back and I whisper whack juice to myself . If the person persists, I stop listening ,and instead, I focus on determining the flavor and ingredients of their whack juice. In my mind, whack juice is unique to the individual and so are its ingredients.  I find that people regurgitate harmful stomach turning stuff because they’ve been marinating on the ugliness for a while and because it’s so overpowering they feel compelled to share it.

However, I refuse to partake in whack juice.

At a certain point I stop engaging altogether and instead, I give it a color and temperature but I avoid thinking about the smell.  Identifying  a person’s type of whack juice helps me to listen initially but not long enough to digest.  This also helps me to avoid giving into my emotions. When I’m pumped up, calling on whack juice helps me to tap out and part ways before things get really blurry.  Now, I don’t go high all the time, however more and more I visualize massive confetti explosions and acknowledge whack juice and its harm before things get out of hand.

Basic human decency is still important to me and extending it to myself and others is always the right thing to do.

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s